But what do we do with our KIDS?

Thursday, January 16, 2014

One of the questions I’m most often asked about small groups by people in my stage of life is “But what do we do with our KIDS?” I understand. I have had many conversations that could hardly be described as such due to the number of interruptions to wipe noses, answer the same questions four times, or give discipline to my children. It hardly seems that I’m going to be in a position to bare my soul to others or think about what God is doing in my life while my kids argue with each other in the same room.

Before I give us all an out (and a break from our kids during small group), let me challenge myself and all of us who have ever asked that question. Our kids are a vital part of our lives - not just in our families but in our personal lives as adults. Very few of the difficult decisions, heart-level struggles, or great joys of my life in the past few years have NOT involved my kids. It’s hard to know me well without knowing my kids. God uses them to show me my sin. He uses them to teach me about himself. He uses them to push me to trust Him more. If you have only ever talked to me with no kids around, you don’t know what much of my life is like when I’m not at work. If you have never seen my wife with three kids around her, you really don’t know her; you’ve seen the exception, not the rule.

So, if small groups is about sharing life together in relationship with each other (and it is!), then my kids have to be a part of that. It’s part of covenant community that we love each other AND each other’s kids. To do that well, we need at a minimum to have met them and ideally to be building some level of relationship with them. You and I might not have the best conversation ever while our kids run around, but we might see things about each other’s hearts and lives in that context that we would otherwise miss. You might catch my anger or shortness with my kids. I might understand your exhaustion better. So, consider how your small group can love each other AND each other’s kids (whatever their ages!).

That said, we do understand that sometimes loving our kids well means mommy and daddy need time with each other and/or other adults. Because the Session of Southwood is committed to the importance of small groups and enabling young families to develop deep relationships, we have set aside budgeted funds to help alleviate the expense of childcare during small group meetings (Go to https://southwood.ccbchurch.com/form_response.php?id=68 to find the reimbursement form). This is a huge blessing for many families, so please use it as you find it helpful to you and your family engaging with your small group.

Southwood small groups handle children a variety of ways. Some share babysitters. Others have older kids watch younger ones. Others get their own individual babysitters. Some even have the children in their group meetings much of the time. All of those are fine; do whatever works best for your group. Just remember that there is money to help with childcare if that supports small groups. And especially remember that wherever the kids are - present, left at home, or grown and gone - they are a significant part of the small group!

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