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Parenting in the Trenches of Technology


I’m all for empathy, but what do I do when young people I know make choices that are clearly unwise?  Does being supportive mean I have to stay silent?


While sometimes our best move is to stay quiet and pray, at other times, the most compassionate and supportive step we can take is to speak up. If you feel called to share your concerns, we recommend you follow this principle: first connect, and then correct.  Embracing this approach with young people might mean you:

1. Pay attention to how you are feeling before you talk with them. Are you nervous or scared? Do this young person’s choices surface old memories or wounds in your own life?

2. Start your conversation by affirming what you appreciate about them.

3. Gently probe how they are feeling about the particular issue that concerns you, instead of diving into a lecture or tirade.  Ask if they can think of any other ways they could respond to that issue.

4. Help them explore the pros and cons of those potential responses.

5. Share your concerns, and then ask what they think is wrong about an observations you share, as well as what may be right.

6. Ask how you can help them make any shifts they desire to make.

7. Shower them with the same response whether they don’t want to change, or try to change and fail, or try to change and succeed: unconditional love.  Even (or maybe especially when they disappoint you, please don’t be one more adult who makes them feel abandoned.

8. Pray for them. And with them.

From the book “Growing Young” by Kara Powell, Jake Mulder, and Brad Griffin

 


BOOK RESOURCES:

Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids
by Kristen A. Jenson, Gail Poyner and Debbie Fox

The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place
by Andy Crouch and Amy Crouch

Hurt 2.0: Inside the World of Today’s Teenagers 
by Chap Clark 

Your Faithful Brain:  Designed for so much more! 
by Leonard Matheson, MD, PhD



Give Them Grace:  Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus
by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson.

WEB RESOURCES:

Family Education

Education about the Effects of Pornography

How To Have a Conversation with Kids About Pornography